Julie Doherty: FEBRUARY, Don't Try This At Home! Seriously Though....

So, in case you're keeping track, which I'm sure none of you are,

but just so I feel complete somehow, 

I need to report that the whole Winter Olympics hoopla thing kind of fizzled.  

It's just not as fun without a TV.

We did break out the 2002 Roots berets.  Oh yes, oh yes.

  

Also, I did help Gracie's teacher with an awesome idea she had for the class and was flattered when she called and asked for my help.  We put together this cool bulletin board and the students earned Gold medals for reaching certain Academic and Citizenship goals.  

Then we celebrated everyone's success with a Closing Ceremonies wherein I completely embarrassed my 10 year old by singing impromptu the Olympic theme song

 AND the MoTab's "Call of the Champions." 

("Citius!  Altius! Fortius!")

I'm so grateful Grace has such an awesome teacher.

So I thought I better quickly do a PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT 

and tell you all about the goal I set for myself this month that went terribly awry, lest you are crazy like me and think you could pull something like this off.  

I'll tell you now-- DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Back story...

I grew up watching my incredible mother cut hair in her little Beauty Shop in the basement.

We learn by example, they say, right?

I cut my husband's hair all the time.  Give me a pair of electric clippers, set to #2.  Easy Peasy.

Watch a couple youtube videos.  Anyone is a pro., right?

So I try my new skills out on Offspring #1:

No Tears.  Straight across the back.  Minor layering in the front. 

(See above picture in Roots beret.)

Ahhh... Success!

Offspring #2 will be a cinch:

Well, okay...  I forgot she doesn't hold still.  It's just slightly uneven.

But, no worries.  She almost always wears a ponytail anyway, right?

Now I just need to do a quick selfie layer cut on these unruly curls and I am good to go.

But I will keep my length.  Gotta keep the length, 'cause I'm growin' it out, ya' know?

Oh, dear.  Woops!  That was about 5 inches more than I meant to cut off.

Ummmm. Okay. Now I need to cut off more from the other side to even it out...

Well... after all of the self-talk... this is the adorable picture I sent to my sister the next day:

Bwahahahahahaahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

I had created a new hair style called

THE GRADUATED MULLETT

Oh yes. Oh yes.

So a week goes by and I don't know what to do.

Heaven forbid I call any of the hairdressers I personally know and admit to them what I have done!

I get through the week by throwing my hair into a bun or pony or tucking my darling mullett-tail-thing into my collar.

Then one day, while in a different city, I see the Dollar Cuts sign, and suddenly, I have a plan!

Gracie and I sneak in and I sheepishly admit my sin.

"No problem," the cute gal says.  "Easy to fix," the cute gal says.

With much reluctance the cute gal and Grace finally convince me to let go of the length and cut the tail completely off.  

"Oh, alright," I sigh heavily.

Cute Gal trims it off and guess what?  I love it!

Refreshing, edgy, sassy!

I say, "Grace, take a picture with my phone and send it to Aunt Pam!"  She does!

Then I make the BIGGEST MISTAKE of ALL:

I ask Cute Gal a question:

"So where did you go to Cosmetology school?"

(She is obviously very young and right out of school.)

We are toast after that because I love to gab and obviously she does too because neither of us realize what she is doing to my hair.

I mean, I remember coming up for air a couple times and thinking:

"When is she going to stop cutting?"

Finally, after I start to look like Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music I say,

"Okay... well.. now if you could just check and make sure I cut my bangs straight, I should be good."

Here's the next photo I send to my sister:

HEAP GADS!!

Lesson Learned.

Next Month is supposed to be my Photography Website going live.

But whereas life is hectic and unpredictable around here, I might have to change it to

MAKE MY BED.... everyday. 

I know.  Inspirational.

:-)