Meredith Duncan tried not to yell for two months!!

So I am such a slacker and totally forgot to post my project last month. But it worked out ok because it turns out this was a goal that I needed to focus on for two months. So just like Sharon Thacker, my March goal was to not yell at my kids for 30 days. I too had read an overview of this lady's blog  www.theorangerhino.com, who had committed to not yelling at her kids for a whole year. A couple things that she said stuck out in my mind. The first thing that rang true is that when she yelled, it was often because she was struggling with something herself; a fight with her husband, a long to-do list, or that time of the month. She realized her "personal triggers" had nothing to do with the kids behaving badly. Another thing she said was that when she yelled, she missed out on some incredible moments with her children.

I never really thought of myself as a big yeller. Yes, there are times when I loose it and think, wow, I just yelled loud. But for the most part I thought I was pretty calm, ha ha. If I am frustrated at my children or need them to do something I use a loud "stern voice". One day I was listening to my three oldest children talking to each other (not very nicely) and realized they used several of the same phrases I use to talk to them and in the same tone!!! Ahhh, is that really what I sound like? If so, I am not nice, and I yell!!

Also, my two year old started talking a lot lately, well, it has been a lot of yelling really. This is new to me and quite upsetting. Never have I had such an aggressive toddler yell like he does, at everybody!! He is such a copy cat that I thought he is yelling at everyone because we all yell at him. So after reading this blog and analyzing my children's behavior, I realized that I needed to focus on not only minimizing my yelling but also my "stern" talking.

When I told my husband about my goal he said that he thought all children needed some rash talking too or else they don't know that we mean business. He said that if I was not going to yell, he would have to yell twice as much to get our kids to do anything. You see, our kids don't do anything unless you ask them nicely two times and then yell the third time. Luckily I came across this article that gave me a few ideas. 10 ways to stop yelling . 

March started out pretty good. I quickly figured out my trigger points which are:  when ever I am using electronics, the witching hours between 4:00-6:00 p.m., Sunday mornings, and basically anytime we have a deadline, or when the kids are whining, or when they won't go to bed. I mentally prepared in advance for these triggers and committed to staying calm. For the most part it went o.k. Mostly what would happen is I would start out yelling and realize what I was doing and then I would try to finish the sentence calmly. There were several times when I completely failed. All in all I thought the month of March was at least a definite improvement.

The morning of April 3rd was a completely different story, however. My two oldest were getting ready for school and could not, despite my asking nicely, stop teasing each other. I lost it and yelled at them, for a long time. It was bad. That is when I decided I better continue my goal for another month. April was not perfect but at least I was more aware of the yelling. I know my children appreciated the "not yelling all the time" mom too. In return, I could tell that they were really trying not to yell at each other (yeah). And I will never forget the look on my two years old's face when I yelled at him for the first time after trying not to yell for several weeks. That sad, hurt look was enough to break my heart and make me commit even more. I am glad that I set this as a goal and I am going to continue to focus on minimizing my yelling. I want my home to be full of love and I know yelling ruins that.

Who could yell at this face?

My Cute Clan, Easter Morning (a somewhat yell free morning)