Back from the dead. Susan Fitch.

Hello!
I've been missing in action here.  I totally forgot to post last month and I completed my goal and everything!  A little refresher for you:  At the family cabin I had tried to start a scrapbook a few years back to let everyone share their fun memories at the cabin together.  We share it with a bunch of cousins, so someone different is there every week.  After several years, I'm still the only one who has ever put anything in the book.  I'll admit, my feelings are a little bit hurt.  But rather than dwell on that, I decided to be proactive.  If no one else will play - I'll do it myself.  So my goal was to make scrapbook pages for 'my' book at the cabin.  While I only got two pages done, I also made a new cover for the book to see if it would encourage anyone else to participate.  Anyway - here's the old and the new. (new on the left, old on the right)

and here are the pages I made for the inside:

 

I am currently working on my goal for this month.  I won't go into detail about feeling totally burnt out as a Mom, because I know you've all been there.  But man, I tell ya.  I've been at the breaking point.  I knew I needed to do something drastic.  So I asked my husband if he'd watch the kiddos while I took a personal vacation.  He said "Sure! tell me when!"  (If I knew it would be that easy - I would have done this a long time ago!)  So, I am writing right now from the family *condo in Saint George.  I packed up the dog and myself, and I get to be here for 3 days ALL BY MYSELF.  It feels like the ultimate luxury. I'm actually doing something real about taking care of myself. I've never done anything like this before, but it is divine.  At first I felt guilty and selfish about leaving my family just to do something for myself, but now that I'm here, I realize how much I've needed it.  I am doing a lot of praying, scripture study, studying my patriarchal blessing, listening to inspirational audio books and making plans for organizing myself better. I'm also planning to go to the temple while I'm here.  It's my own personal Time-Out-For-Women.  It is so nice and rejuvenating to be entirely alone.  I'm proud of myself for being brave enough to really make this happen instead of just dreaming about it, and super grateful for my husband who was so willing to help. 

My goal for next month is to send at least one hand written note/letter to a friend.  I am terrible TERRIBLE at keeping in touch with people.  I was so impressed when this all started that Nora was able to round up 40+ people!   I doubt I could get 3.  So - I want to cultivate my relationships and make a handwritten something for someone because I don't think there's anything more endearing or personal than handwritten notes.  I know handwriting is becoming a lost art, and I think it's so sad.

Until next time!  

*My Husband's Grandfather decided that rather than leaving money to his family after his death, he wanted to leave something that would strengthen the family and give them good memories together.  So he put all his money into a cabin in Island Park, a condo in St. George and another cabin just up Parley's canyon.  He was a wise and good patriarch.  We share these places with 22 cousins, so we don't get to go all the time but, they have been a tremendous blessing.

Susan Fitch

Hello All!
Again, I  so love to read about all your accomplishments.  I'm so glad Nora invited me to be a part of this.

The goal I wrote down last month was to make some scrapbook pages for the cabin before our trip there in August.  Because it's not August yet, of course I haven't even started!lol!

I have however started working on another goal.

I am one of the many people in the world who suffer from depression.  My husband always thinks I'm 'brave' for sharing that with anybody.  I know there are people who might look down on me for that or think I'm just plain crazy.  But, I don't have the time or energy to care about that.  I am what I am, and I do the best I can.

I was diagnosed with depression as a missionary 17 years ago.  That's a different story for a different day.  I have been on medication since then and it helps a great deal, but it's still something I struggle with every day.  For any of you who may not know much about depression, I won't go into a lot of detail, but it's much more than just feeling sad.  It can affect you in all sorts of different ways.  (appetite, ability to think, irritability, sleep, and on and on.)

I have just moved into a new house in a new neighborhood that is such a better situation than we were in before.  I should be so happy and feeling great.  I should be able to take advantage of this new beginning.  And I want to.  But I'm still struggling with my depression.  Of course I never thought that moving would cure me.  It doesn't work that way.  The chemicals in my brain are still the same.  But I have so much that is really great in my life right now.  I want to be able to enjoy it. I want to get past the dark stages of the past and move on.  I'm so sick and tired of this depression that takes away so much of my abilitiy to just function.

I've learned things about my depression and about myself over the years.  I know that stress is a trigger for me.  So I try to be careful about the projects I take on and the things I commit to.  I've learned that medication is most effective when you take it at the same time everyday.  A few things like that.  But now that I'm in a better situation with the new neighborhood and such, I want to do some of the other things that could help me.  

The other night, I turned into "Mean Mom" and started yelling at my kids.  I remembered my own Mom telling us that her patience went to bed at 8:00.  I thought - I must be the same way.  Then something else popped into my head.  I know that sunlight has an affect on depression.  And I thought about the lazy summertime routine I've gotten into.  I've been staying up late, and sleeping in. I realized that I'm missing out on hours of sunlight by doing that! (Duh. I know.)  But I had never thought about that before.  I should adjust my schedule to be up and around while the sun is out.  Then, I can be a better Mom to my kids!  Such a simple obvious thing. Anyway, I've been experimenting since then.

I've been trying to go to bed earlier & adjust my sleeping schedule.  It's been hard.  After I put the kids to bed is when I get to spend time with my husband and when I get to do my drawing.  They are my favorite things to do!  It's easy to justify that those things are taking care of my depression too.  And of course, in the summer there are other fun activities after dark like fireworks and campfires and night games.  But, I'm getting better.  I am going to bed before midnight, and it's a start.  I can't see that I'm getting any great results yet.  But I think my body is still adjusting and I think I need to go to bed earlier than what I'm doing anyway.  It will be a gradual process. And, this is only the first part of my goal.  Once I can get myself in a good habit of going to bed early and waking up early, I will start to work on diet and exercise.  I'm not sure which I'll tackle first.  But so far I'm just working on bedtime.  No marathons here. Maybe one day. Right now I've got other things to take care of first. :) 

Next Months goal:  Do those scrapbook pages for the cabin!

Sneak Post.

Today is not my day to post, but I just finished entirely my JANUARY goal and had to tell you about it!  I owe a big thanks to Meg - who I have never met, but who (Through projects connect) gave me the last umph I needed to get this done.

When I first posted my goal about finishing the illustrations for the story my sister wrote, Meg recognized the old farmhouse I drew as her neighbor's house across the street.  It's true.  I drove around Farmington looking at all the cute old houses.  The one I chose really is her neighbor's.  What a fun coincidence.  The woman who lives in the house is named Susan -like me, and is Meg's Relief Society President.  I gave Meg permission to tell her about the book.  Well, now Meg is moving and the other Susan asked her how she could get the book with her house in it.  So - Meg emailed me.  Silly me.  I'd done all the hard part of illustrating and laying it out.  But had never gone to blurb to actually download it or print it.  When Meg emailed I got on the ball.  It took less than an hour in Blurb, and I have now ordered actual copies for my sister and I.  I also checked the box to have it put up for sale on Amazon.   But - Amazon adds onto the price so they can make a profit.  It's a bit expensive.  So, if you'd like to see it & read it without paying.....shhhh. don't tell.  Here is a link to see a preview.

Susan Fitch May Goal.

First off let me just say that I love to see pictures of all your messy houses.  It is so liberating to know that I am not the only one who lives like that!  Of course, all of you are setting goals and getting those messes cleaned.  Perhaps one day I will be motivated to do the same. I am proud of you and impressed by you.  Thanks!

I did not specify a goal in my last post.  But as I went through the month, a goal created itself.  It may sound silly to you, but my goal was to take a bike ride.  Just one.  It seems simple enough, but it has been the most difficult goal I've tackled so far, because it required me to conquer myself.

It has been decades since I last saw my girlish figure.  And while I have some desire to get into shape and be healthier, the desire is not super strong.  Back in the day I used to love mountain biking.  So I figure that if I did something I enjoy, then the motivation might come just from doing something I like.  I had all sorts of excuses for myself, from not having anything to wear, to not having time, to the bike rack on the car, and spider webs on my bike.  It was a slow process.  I did one thing one day, then put off the rest.  Eventually I got to a point where I didn't have any more excuses.

This is Nora and I after biking around Fish Lake.  I thought I had a picture of us actually biking, but this was the best I could find.

One morning, I actually did it.   I got my butt out of bed and did it!

I drove to the Rio Grande trail.  It is quite close to my house, but if I biked it, I'd have to go over the freeway and I didn't want to have to go over any hills, or ride around with my big butt in front of traffic.  So I drove to the trail.  I chose a nice flat trail because I wanted to make sure I had a good, enjoyable experience so I'd be more likely to do it again.  I'll admit, it was one of the hardest things I've done in a long time.  Not physically, but mentally.  I realized that I don't feel like I have permission to be good to myself.  It was hard to walk away from my family to do something just for me. And it was hard to get out in the world and be a person again.  I went a little over 4 miles.  Not a big deal.  But I did enjoy it, and I was so proud of myself! 

This is my victory selfie taken after the fact.

I have not been back....yet.  My gears were grinding, making a terrible noise the whole time, so I feel like I really need to get a tune up before I go again.  But I feel so accomplished for conquering myself just that once.  It won't be nearly as difficult to go again.  I also have to say that I thought of all of you the whole time, and about what I would say in my post here.  It kept me going.  You all inspired me!  so Thank You for being here, and thank you for letting me be apart of you.

Now, for next month....
My husband's family has a cabin in Island Park, Idaho.  All his aunts and uncles and cousins take turns going there.  A few years back, I started a guest book for the cabin with a note in it for everyone who goes to just write down what they did there, the animals they saw etc. I envisioned it to be a really neat fun thing - you know- bond the family together over shared experiences or something like that.  After 5 years, I am the only one who has ever written anything in it.   My feelings have been kind of hurt by that.  I leave it right in the middle of the main table every time we go.  My husband and I always joke that I am the invisible one in the family, but that's a different story for a different day.  Anyway, instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I'm trying to be positive.  So - my goal for this next month is to make scrapbook pages for the cabin guest book.  If no one else is going to put anything in it, I might as well make it my very own scrapbook and make it awesome - right?   We are going there in August, so it's my goal to get them done and printed before we go. 

Susan Fitch - Open an Etsy Shop.

Hello All!  I nearly forgot to post today.  It is my 15th wedding anniversary.  How strange an idea time is.  15 years seems like a lot and a little all at the same time.  We aren't officially going to celebrate till next weekend, but I thought it was worth mentioning. :)

(back when we were still young and sexy.)

My goal for this past month was to get an Etsy shop up and running with eight items in it.  And I am proud to say that except for the fact that there are only six items in it so far - MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!  I'm feeling really proud of myself for it too.  It was a big scary thing for me to do and I did it! 

I watched a series of You Tube videos on how to set it up and learned a lot.  I also asked some questions to other Etsy shop owners, and stalked a few shops that sell things similar to what I was intending to do.  I set it up once and have already changed the logo because I didn't like the first one I did.  

 This is the first one I did & decided that I didn't like.

This is the second logo I did.  I like it much better.  It feels cleaner to me and I think it shows better what my shop is about.

On the You Tube videos I watched, it said that 8 was a good number of items to begin with, so I aimed for that.  However, my products take an awful lot of time to make and post.  Several days for the drawing, then a day or so of scanning and cleaning up smudges & stuff in the computer to turn it into clip art.  I neglected my family a lot, and was kind of making myself crazy.  I wanted to do this to benefit my family, so six things was good enough in order to save some sanity and get my priorities back into place.  Here are a couple of my clip art packs:

I love my art and I'm having a lot of fun with this little shop.  So keeping it all in balance is going to be a trick.  I could draw sun up to sun down and not notice the Apocalypse if it came.  So If this venture of mine is  going to work for my family, I need to be careful to keep it a hobby.  Just take it slow and easy and focus on the important things in life. 

Several of the Etsy shop owners that I spoke to said that they didn't get their first sale for several months.  So, I wasn't expecting much.  I was pleasantly surprised to get my first sale about a week after opening.  I have now made 10 sales and made a total of about $50.  Not a super big amount, but I'm thrilled that I've made anything at all.

If any of you are interested, I'm doing a giveaway for the Chorister Flip Chart set on my blog.

As for next month's goal, I am torn between two thoughts.  I am going to be teaching some children's art classes from my home (it's something I've always wanted to try)  But I'm having a hard time making myself sit down and write out some lesson plans.  So that would be one goal. The other thought is that I'm really bad at holidays and occasions and such because I never pay attention to time.  They always sneak up on me, then I'm not prepared so they are all just a big stressy mess.  So I'd like to plan some sort of holiday or something in advance.  I will pick between the two before the new month starts.  But I'll be working on one of them.

And thank you to all of you who have left comments for me.  I love the encouragement and support I get from you.  Especially Julie Doherty.  You make me laugh and feel like I'm some sort of fancy person.  It's great for my self esteem!  Thanks everyone!  Good Luck with all your goals.

Susan Fitch - Family Scripture Study, one perfect day

I sat down to write this post and found myself staring blankly at the screen.  What can I say?  I love reading about all the great things you all are accomplishing.  And I'm comforted that you're not all running marathons, or conquering the world, but that some of you are dealing with mundane everyday kind of things like me.  To all of you - thanks for sharing the inspiration!

I set a goal last month to do our family scripture study daily, and to specifically have one 'perfect day' of being the kind of Mom I want to be.  For me that means having all the prayers, scripture studies, family home evenings, meals and basic chores done. They are all simple little things that seem so hard to do.

It should not have been too difficult.  But, let's be honest.  If it weren't difficult for me would I have needed to set a goal to do it?

So anyway, I went through the month with this goal sort of in the back of my head. Long story short, I never had my perfect day, which really consisted of just checking everything off the list for one day.  But I came pretty close, and I did improve in all those areas just by thinking more about them.  We actually had family scripture study a few times.  We had family night EVERY WEEK for the month - which meant moving it to Thursday night several times so my husband could be home for it.  (I am feeling super proud and accomplished about this!) And we had family prayers.  We are heading in the right direction, and on a good roll.  I figure that as long as I don't give up, and just keep trying, that I'm doing well.

My goal for next month:

 I have a little blog where I post my illustrations for people to download for free.  It's mostly church stuff, like primary singing time games & charts, or clip art for young women's and relief society.  I started it just to feel like I was doing something with the talent that Heavenly Father has given me.  It's cutesy foofy stuff.  I didn't imagine that very many people would take an interest in it, so I've been pleasantly surprised at the amount of people who have visited my blog and started using my artwork for stuff.

Having been inspired by Dave Ramsey, I want to try to pay off my lingering student loans, and other debts.  So, in order to kick things up a notch, I've decided to open an Etsy shop.  I'm really quite nervous about it.  People downloading stuff for free from my blog doesn't necessarily mean they'll be willing to pay money for it on Etsy.  But, I'm going to be brave and give it a try.  I guess that means I'm cautiously optimistic.

My specific goal is to have my shop all put together with logo, banner, policies, etc.  and have 8 items in it by the end of the month.   Wish me luck.

Susan.

Susan Fitch, Potty training my special needs daughter.

I have been dreading this post.
Mostly because I dread potty training, and with this child it's been at least a 7 year project so far. If you recall, last month I explained that my daughter Emma is 9 and has cerebral palsy.  She was nearly potty trained until we moved.  Then she regressed almost entirely. So this month, we kind of started over....again.

Since this is all potty talk, I wont go into a lot of detail.  I'm sure you all appreciate that.  So, in an attempt to be appropriate and not gross, here is the cliff notes version of what I've done this month.

• I have met with her teacher at school to discuss her physical challenges in using the specific facilities that the school has.  We have brainstormed and tried a few different things.  (using a toilet lower to the ground, a potty seat, etc.) 
• We have decided that she seems to have lost the ability to feel whether she is wet or not. So, while trying to increase her awareness in this area, I am also looking for products to help her notice when she goes.  The pull ups that claim to do that don't work for her.  I heard once about a product that will play music when the pull up gets wet, but I don't know what it's called or how to find it. Google has not been helpful yet.
• I have also tried another form of motivation in the form of a potty chart/game.  Since my 4 year old has still been in that potty phase of being 98% trained, I thought it might work to let them encourage each other.  This is the game board I made:

Each time they go potty successfully, they get to move their face one square.  We use hersheys kisses for potty treats, so they get a treat too.  There is a double treats square that they can land on, or one that says surprise treat, where they get a little dollar store toy or some such thing.  The grand prize is a date with Mom & Dad.  I know you are not supposed to do negative or punishment type things so I have never done that before.  But since this is a 'game' I thought I might be able to get away with making them go back a square if I have to change their pull up and still have it be a positive and fun experience.  after all, they can hit the double treat square over and over that way - though I did not point that out to them.
Mary, my 4 year old responded like a champ and is 100% potty trained now. (hooray!)
And while Emma only responded so-so to it all, she's made a small amount of progress both at home and school over the past month.

I must admit that I am discouraged.  I had it in my head that if I could just really really focus on it, we could get back to where we were before we moved.  That did not happen.  I know she can do it. I know she can.  She was so close before! But this process has been going on for so long.  I do feel discouraged, and I don't quite know what to do anymore.  I have prayed and prayed about it, and I firmly believe in the power of combined faith.  So if you all don't think it's too weird - perhaps you wouldn't mind saying a prayer or two for Emma and her potty training.

Her mental capacities are not at all affected by her CP and right now, kids are able (for the most part) to look past her physical disabilities.  But as time goes on, and they get older I think it will become more difficult.  My biggest worry is that she will become 'gross' to them, and that they will be repelled by her despite her sparkling and sweet personality.  It breaks my heart, but I can't help but worry about it....

Anyway, I am pleased to report that I did finally finish January's goal of illustrating my sister's book.  I am just getting it all set up and ready to publish on Blurb.  If you're interested, it's called "Super Sarah" and will be in the blurb bookstore. 

AS FOR NEXT MONTH, I have a two-part goal.  First off, and through the whole month, I'd like to focus on being more consistent with my personal and family scripture study.  But also, I want to do one day - just one day- of being exactly the kind of Mom I want to be.  It will take some planning, but my sister pointed out to me that if you really look at the things you beat yourself up over, they aren't necessarily big or difficult things.  For me it's a matter of preparing for the day the night before, (I'm always to tired and ornery by the end of the day to do that) waking up earlier to take a walk, read scriptures, write in my journal or say coherent prayers.  You know, stuff like that.  Setting a goal to do all that for a month would be way overwhelming for me and I know I'd be setting myself up to fail. But one day is doable.  And I'm curious to see and feel what that one day will feel like. But for the entire month, I'm focusing on the first baby step of that, and making an effort to consistently get in scripture study. 

Susan Fitch, January, finish illustrating a story book

Hello.  My name is Susan Fitch.

I met Nora in the summer of 1994 when we were counselors at Oakcrest girls' camp together.  I consider myself truly blessed to be counted as one of her friends - especially after all this time. (I also got to work with Nora's sister Vanessa at Aggie Ice Cream at Utah State!)

A little about myself: I have been married for nearly 15 years.  We have 3 living children, Aiden 11, Emma 8, and Mary 4.  We also have one angel baby who would have turned 14 this summer.  She was born and died just a few weeks before Nora lost her Charlotte.  I remember climbing into Nora's bed with her and the both of us crying together over our angel babies.  For that, and many other things, I will love Nora forever.

I have loved reading about all of you and your stories and goals.  I've found something in common with each one of you as you've posted.  I've been thrilled to see that so many of you live in Davis county.  We just moved to Kaysville from Weber county. Everytime I read that one of you are close by it makes me feel like I have new friends here already!

 (our new home)

My project for this month was to finish illustrating a story that my sister wrote.  I love to draw.  But I have purposely tried to keep it a hobby and not a profession.  It is so easy for me to let life distract me from my family & my Heavenly Father; the things that are really the most important to me.  I'm kind of scatter-brained by nature. A couple of years ago I read this blog post that gave me inspiration to go about my life more consciously and really think about choosing the things that I will or will not do.  The balancing act is a constant juggle for me, and sometimes I do better than others. 

Here's where my project comes in.  I screwed up.  Last year, my sister wrote a story for one of her children who was having some issues with anxiety.  She asked me if I could illustrate the book.  I made a conscious decision that it was a good project, and that the time I took away from my children to do the illustrations would come back to bless them in the form of a book that would help them too.  And maybe even grandchildren down the line.  Several weeks later, I was asked by a guy in one of our previous wards to illustrate a series of short stories about Santa Claus that he had written and was going to self publish.  I talked to my husband, and prayed about it and felt really good about it, so I told him yes, but spread my deadlines far apart so I could do other projects as well.  As time went on, I illustrated the Santa Stories but never got around to doing my sister's book.  I felt so guilty about it that I almost didn't tell her that my illustrations had been published in a real book for the first and only time ever.

So you can see why I chose this for my project.  I needed to give myself some deadlines to get this done.  While the Santa book was super fun, and has been a great experience, my sister is more important to me and I didn't want her to fall through the cracks. 

In the past few months, I have been working on her book.  It's called "Super Sarah"  I wanted to have it done and printed up on Blurb to give her a fancy hard copy for her birthday which was Feb. 11. Each illustration takes at least 2-3 days.  And with moving, my time was really limited.  I mostly did my drawing late at night in front of the TV.  When my sister's birthday came, I was still working on it.  But she got very sick on her birthday - and I must admit that I was glad- because I thought that would give me more time to finish.  Now here I am on the 26th.  I still have 5 illustrations left to do. I haven't seen my sister since before her birthday, but her birthday lunch was rescheduled for tomorrow.  So technically, I have failed in my goal.  In actuality - it's a success because I never would have gotten this far if Nora hadn't come along and given me some accountability for this project.  (thanks Nora & all you project connecters!)

I will post the reading rainbow version of the book & illustrations here if you'd like to read it. It is enough for you to get the plot, but doesn't spoil the ending.  Though, I really only have one other illustration done beyond what I'm posting. Here goes:

Sarah lived in a beautiful old farmhouse.

One of Sarah's favorite places in the whole world was the attic.

She wasn't tall enough to turn the light on, but the window let in just the right amount of sunlight so she could see perfectly.

Sarah loved to play dolls in the attic.  She loved to dance.  She loved to read by the window where she could watch the birds in the trees.  Sometimes she would just curl up and take a nap in the warm sunshine.

Whatever she did in the attic, Sarah always felt strong, and smart, happy, and creative and safe.

One day, Sarah was tall enough to turn the light on.  She was so excited until she noticed something she had never seen before.

A few of the boards on the walls had ugly old knots in them.  Some of them even looked scary.

Sarah's mom and dad told her everything was okay.  The attic was still as safe and fun as it had always been.

But Sarah felt worried.  She did not like those ugly knots and scary faces.  Maybe, she didn't like the attic anymore. 

So that's it.  That's all I've got so far.  I will keep working on it and report on it again next month.  I will also be working on next month's goal:  To potty train my 8 year old. Before you judge me, you should know that Emma has cerebral palsy.  Muscle control and balance are big issues for her.  Sitting on the toilet is really scary and difficult.  Sometimes I wonder if she has the muscle control to control her bladder.  But I'm 95% sure she does.  She was just about potty trained until we moved.  Once she started her new school she regressed a whole lot.  They do not have a small sized toilet low to the ground that she can balance on well.  So, we're starting over again.  I feel like I've tried everything.  I'm not exactly sure what my plan of attack will be for this next month, but I think that solving the problem of the 'too tall' toilets at school will be the first step. Wish me lots of luck because I really need it! 

About Susan Fitch and her goals & Projects for 2014

A little about myself: I have been married for nearly 15 years.  We have 3 living children, Aiden 11, Emma 8, and Mary 4.  We also have one angel baby who would have turned 14 this summer.  She was born and died just a few weeks before Nora lost her Charlotte.  I remember climbing into Nora's bed with her and the both of us crying together over our angel babies.  For that, and many other things, I will love Nora forever.

I have loved reading about all of you and your stories and goals.  I've found something in common with each one of you as you've posted.  I've been thrilled to see that so many of you live in Davis county.  We just moved to Kaysville from Weber county. Every time I read that one of you are close by it makes me feel like I have new friends here already!

 (our new home)

January/February -- Finish the illustrations for my sister's book before her birthday on February 11

March -- Finish up illustrations and potty train Emma.