Anne Halpenny, April, Enduring to the End

This is, obviously, not my original goal. I didn't know when I was going to move (I had originally thought the beginning of April but it ended up being May.) So I haven't moved entirely into my apartment seeing as how it's only been 8 days. So I thought back over what April was like and I thought about the physical, emotional, and spiritual journeys I've been on.

Physical: I did move! I packed my life into a truck and drove to another town to live. I very much appreciate all the men/missionaries who helped with the heavy lifting. There are times when I'm grateful for missionaries. 4 companionships, plenty of muscle and short on brains, showed up... bless them. At the other end, unloading the truck, there were fewer people. I have asthma so my physical endurance is pretty weak. Grateful doesn't begin to cover the appreciation and love I have for my family who moved me in and have taken care of me throughout my life.

Emotional: Stef will tell you, I cry during sentimental commercials. It's a release for me, to cry it out. I think it's better than getting angry or ignoring the problem. Not that there aren't times for those as well, but at least no one gets hurt with my crying and I can do it alone. Anyway, people in my life are facing new things for them (some joyous, some not) but I'm grateful I can be there to share it, sympathize, empathize, rejoice with. (I happen to be able to empathize really well) For myself, I've been dealing with something long-term. It's not in the forefront of my thoughts, but the thing that hangs in the back, always present but not hogging the attention. I hope and pray everyday for it to be concluded. This month, I realized what I should do in the meantime, while waiting for the issue to take care of itself. It's a hard thing to accept, but it brings peace for now.

Spiritual: I realize I was purposefully vague on the last section and I'm sorry I can't elaborate. However, this month, I've developed a habit: I look forward to Sacrament meetings. It's a time I've gotten many answers to prayers. It's a peaceful time, I'm alone regardless of the people around me, and I've tried to utilize it. I'm glad that I've been writing down my experiences in my journal through the years because I will go back to a certain Sunday and read what answers I received that day, just to relive it and feel the confidence I had in the spirit and myself.

Enduring to the end is one of the hardest principles to succeed with because one, we haven't succeeded until we die, which means we're all still in the middle of it. And two, it's not a one time deal. I write in my journal, done. Baptism, done. Sacrament, done. Temple, done. But enduring, it's not a single step to do and be done with. It's a lot of little steps to juggle and continually juggle for...ever. Looking back at time periods of length, I wonder how I survived the passing of the days. One prayer at a time, I find...

Well, thank you for letting me ramble. It's been a spring where nothing happened and yet I changed a lot.